THE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT RICK BERLIN (continues)

1945 Born Richard Gustave Kinscherf III, Sioux City, Iowa

1957 Shook hands with Richard Nixon at the Blackstone Hotel in Chicago. (Weak grip.)

1967 Graduated from Yale University. (BA Pre-Architecture, American Studies, Whiffenpoofs). Turned down full scholarship to Yale Grad School of Architecture. Designed toilets for Vincent Kling & Associates. Rejected by Peace Corps.

1968 Taught special class in Moosup, Connecticut public school system. Quit.

1969 Taught English and photography at Whitman School in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Got fired. Dropped acid before physical exam for the draft. Rejected, 4F.

1970 Accepted to Yale School of Drama, full scholarship. Dropped out. Auditioned for Jim Steinman's Neverland. Wrestled with Richard Gere.

1971 Spent three months making a movie in Grenada, West Indies. All 35 members of cast and crew arrested and jailed for nudity.

1972 New Haven, Connecticut. Worked in porno bookstore, started writing songs.

1973 Formed band called Orchestra Luna in Boston. Met Danny Fields, shopped demos in NY City. Performed at Frank Zappa's 10th Anniversary party with LaBelle and Patti Smith. Rubbed elbows with Andy Warhol, Lance Loud, Jane Friedman, Susan Blond, Peter Berlin. Opened for Weather Report, Roxy Music, Split Endz. Began dropping names.

1974 Orchestra Luna is signed by Epic Records. Released eponymous debut album. (WBCN begins tradition of playing 'You Gotta Have Heart' for the Red Sox on opening day.) Springsteen, the Eagles, Linda Rondstadt join CBS. Orchestra Luna is dropped.

1976 Orchestra Luna II is formed, including Karla DeVito. Band becomes regulars on the NY City/CBGB's scene with Talking Heads, Ramones, Blondie, Television, etc. Seymour Stein (Sire Records) offers O.L. a contract. Band rejects offer, feeling they could do better. They couldn't.

1977 Orchestra Luna performs at Kennedy Center, Washington, D.C. with Ellen Foley in Jim Steinman's production of Neverland. Orchestra Luna showcases for labels at Alice Tully Hall, Lincoln Center, NY City. All labels pass. Rick breaks his foot. Karla DeVito joins Meatloaf. Orchestra Luna disintegrates.

1978 New band called Luna is formed, has hit single 'Hooray for Hollywood'. Rick changes last name to Berlin. No one can spell Kinscherf.

1979 Luna is offered deal by Steve Popovitch at Cleveland International/Epic. Band's former producer gets greedy, refuses to release the recording rights for less than $100.000. Deal fizzles, as does Luna.

1981 New band, Berlin Airlift has major success on Boston radio with 'Over The Hill' and 'Don't Stop Me From Crying'.

1982 Ron Alexenberg signs Berlin Airlift to Handshake/CBS Records. Band releases eponymous debut album. Six weeks later Handshake declares bankruptcy, album dies in infancy. Rick writes quasi-autobiography titled Kami Kazi.

1983 Berlin Airlift opens for J. Geils Band holiday tour. Releases six-song EP called Professionally Damaged, featuring 'Hunger Strikes,' which becomes number one local song of the year on Boston's WBCN.

1984 Berlin Airlift crashes to earth. Rick writes The Kingdom, a stage/movie musical about a whacko cult in Vermont and a boy with magic powers. Disney passes, saying 'It's not family'.

1985 Yet another new band, Rick Berlin-The Movie.

1986 Teaches drama and songwriting at Boston Technical High School. Co-created 'Boston For The World', an ill-fated attempt to raise funds for the homeless through concert and event promotions.

1987 Rick Berlin-The Movie has a hit with 'Rock n Roll Romance' which wins Rick Indie Songwriter of the Year at the Boston Music Awards.

1989 The Movie ends it's run. Rick begins working as a waiter at Doyle's (an Irish bar in Jamaica Plain). Writes a screenplay/murder mystery called I Never Loved A Man.

1990 New band, Rome Is Burning. By now a lot of managers and musicians have been chewed up.

1991 Rome burns to the ground. Rick begins solo career. Starts recording new material with former band mate Chet Cahill producing. Appears 47 times as informed bohemian citizen on local PBS affiliate WGBH talk show called The Group.

1992 Shot no-budget video of new song, 'Two Drunks Dancing'. Wins 2nd Prize in Boston Phoenix Video poll. Worked for Clinton/Gore Campaign Headquarters, Boston.

1993 New eleven-song recording of solo effort distributed to everyone in Rick's phone book.

1994-5 Performs monthly at Don’t Tell Mama’s in NYC. Plays NY Gay Pride ‘94 & ‘95. On the pier. Follows cast of Angels In America. Verrry quiet afterwards.

1994-03 Performs 9 years (432 Monday nights) at Jacques (the oldest drag bar in the country) in Bay Village. Picks up showbiz tips from the Ol’ Rimma Rama herself, Sylvia Sydney.

1995 Dreams up/organizes 1st Annual Drags Dicks & Dykes 4 Life at Jacques. (20 bands, 14 Queens, etc). Raises 3.1 grand for AIDS Action Committee.

1995 Goes Abroad. High-school pigeon Frawnsaaay. Encounters rea life KGB-type PoliceBoy at Radost Cafe, in Prague.

1996 2nd Annual Drags Dicks & Dykes 4 Life _at Quest. (40 bands, More Queens, etc). Raises 6.3 grand for AIDS Action Committee.

1996 Records LIVE AT JACQUES, 5 Mondays in a row. (Dan Cantor, producer.) Mike the queens at the pool table.

1997 Writes Go For It Girl about trip abroad. Who could have predicted that nobody wants to publish the genius novella?

1998 (January) Berlin dreams up Rock n Roll Romance Revival. They overtake local clubs with diverse local artists for one brief bracing ride. Berlin fakes it up w/ phoney company - ControlFreakInk: Produces Corner Store (circa: End Of Century) variety show: Marlene Loses It At The Lizard (Lounge) Jugglers jiggle, tap dancers don’t show up, magicians flame out, Flamencos spin and clack, comedians laugh at their own jokes, teen, bald spoken word performers get their face in the Globe, independent movies are shown on sheets... GarageDog Records releases RickBerlinLIVE@Jacques (Rick pushes sells his own record like crack out of a backpack)

1999 Sick of watching other people hog the klieg lights (+ many horrible band names later) The Shelley Winters Project brakes the bubbly over the bow + hook up with David Minehan (Producer Of The Year, Boson Music Awards: 98, '99) to begin recording at Woolly Mammoth 2002. 1 baby, 3 drummers, 2 bass players + 2 violinists later the CD is complete. Sign with Windjam + play all over the place. Bill Anderson (film maker) follows band around like a bloodhound + begins rough cut of Lightbulb in a Dark Room - a docu-drama about Berlin's endless kareer + SWP in all her glory.

2003 SWP gets ugly passport photos, washes her hands (SARS - thinks about China) + opens in a ballpark for B52's. Shelley Winters (herself) calls Berlin from LA (his teeth hit the floor). Back in Woolly w/ Min O'Han for SWPII.

2004 SWP (the band) in a coma. Berlin mixes up last gasp CD (Forced To Swallow) but doesn't know what to do with it. Records new solo CD (Me & Van Gogh) – piano + voice only at Hi-N-Dry (Billy Conway producing, Tom Dube engineer). Stages MOVEON.ORG benefit (BOSTON TEA PARTY 2 – DRUM BEAT AROUND THE BUSH) at the Milky Way one day after the Democratic Convention (raises 6 grand). Continues inevitable housework + changing of wallpaper in all inappropriate areas see: 'HEADLINES' (NEWS).

2005 Learns Final Cut Pro, interviews 50 locals for 2008 documentary entitled Jamaica Plain-Spoken (Un-Gated Community in the 21st Century?)

2006 Releases Me & Van Gogh. Hot ink all over the place. Out of control CD release @ the Lizard Lounge with 40 friends chosing one song of his from forever backwards. Video of this up on YouTube (type in Rick Berlin + scroll endlessly).

2007 Finishes new CD: Old Stag Dave Minehan's nimble hands took disparate elements (ambient sounds from Centre St, backup vox by SAND MACHINE, phenomenal string arrangements by Brendan Cooney (W Philly) and wove them all into a smooth, breath-taking collection. Mastered. Shaun Wortis (graphic design for Me & Van Gogh) assembling photos by Rene Rives. Joe Stewart (recording engineer) taking a break from early morning drives to Waltham. No matter how ya cut it, Berlin is beside himself over this record.

Big show at an honest-t-God church in Porter Sq. Low Anthem, Billy Hough, The Cello Chicks, The Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band, Hula Hoop Girls - staged by Berlin n Billy Beard. Drunks in church. A gorgeous night of 'prayer'. If ya missed it, you suck.

2008 The documentary heats up + then slows down. Berlin + Drogy waste critical time trying to write grant applications to ivory tower idiots ('welfare for scholars' as a friend put it). The more we wrote the less we loved the project. All clips are available on YouTube. They stand best on their own. Crushing them into a short or a feature felt grossly inadequate. We gave up. We did have a bang up fundraiser at Spontaneous Celebrations + paid ourselves back for the money spent. We love Jamaica Plain. Always will, but we can't film her. She is too beautiful to be summed up or stuffed into a doc pocket.

Sent money on a regular basis to Obama. Ecstatic he won after 8 long years of cynicism + near fear. Love the guy - the best president in my lifetime. How lucky we are t have him. May he live long + prosper.

2009 'You still work here?' Berlin still gets that question as he bobbles his bee-hive-with-pencil around Doyles. It's been at least 24 years there for him. He loved the place, the soap opera, his dear compatriots.

Begins writing/blogging 'paragraphs: Berlin's art-for-the-day pieces that capture small scraps of life + observation.(see: rickberlin.blogspot.com)

Also begins recording PAPER AIRPLANE with all the greatest players this town has ever seen. Joe Stewart again at the helm. Berlin stays off the piano. Jane Mangini does all the heavy lifting. Berlin settles for 6 notes on a toy piano, but makes up for it by cutting 8 awesome videos for the record-to-be.

2010 Berlin becomes a Facebook whore. Berlin tries t Tweet (a total amateur). The PAPER AIRPLANE train begins to move out of the station + accelerate. He has big help from friends who understand web proliferation. He wants more than a fart-in-the-wind for this CD. Up to his ass in secretarial hamster-on-treadmill do-it-yourself publicity. Releases PAPER AIRPLANE October 16th @ the Lizard Lounge.

2011 Tours the backyard planet.